Does Feminism Need a New Brand?

"Fairminism" might be a good start

By Patty O’Connor Lauritzen

The women’s movement was a great achievement during the last century and I’m glad for it. Thank you, Grandma and Mom. You did good work fighting the good fight. I’m grateful and thankful for my opportunities and rights.

Wait, did Seth MacFarlane just say, and then sing, “we saw your boobs?”

This year’s Oscars ceremony was a wake up call to millions of women around the world. 

Thank you, Seth MacFarlane, for giving us a barometer read on today's perception of women’s value. It isn’t pretty.  

I was eager to watch the Oscars this year and see the Academy honor today’s amazing cinematic storytellers. I thought my daughters, ages 3 and 5, might like to see their favorite film, Brave, contend for an Academy Award.

But, as the opening number, “We Saw Your Boobs” unfolded, I was horrified. Not only by the overt obnoxiousness, but that my daughters were watching. A few nights later, my daughter told me she was excited to have boobs. She’s five and now acutely aware of our breast-crazed society. Seth, are you listening? She’s only FIVE.

As I watched the show, I checked Twitter and Facebook and expected women to be raising a battle cry of protest over the sexist and degrading jokes. I was disappointed that I didn't see many people speaking out. Worse yet, that made me not want to speak out myself.

Thankfully, commentary started appearing after a day or two. 

For me, the Oscars were like a women’s state of the nation address.

The degradation of women throughout the whole program prompted writer, Lindy West to write about "sexism fatigue" for Jezebel. She is spot on. I reject the idea that these are just jokes that shouldn’t be taken seriously, but I didn’t speak out myself. At least, not until now.

Many women have become engrossed in empty consumerism powered by dollar hungry media. There is a capitalization on female insecurity that makes women so tense, that it’s hard to even relate to each other anymore. We women still tend to measure ourselves by what we have and how we look. 

Through the media, we are told to hold this ideal image of ourselves that's not real. Whose ideal is it anyway?

And that’s the problem. Women are not taught to reach their potential by following their own ideals. We need to support one another to provide shelter from the negativity storm. Women wage a battle with the mass media that chips away at their self-esteem on a daily basis. The appeal to the advertising world and the editors to cease the onslaught of daily attacks on the value and ability of women and girls goes largely ignored. Are women not being made to feel inferior? Isn’t that called bullying?

As an educated professional working mother who earns a relatively decent living and is blessed with a happy co-parenting marriage, I am reaping the benefits of the women’s movement, no doubt. In fact, I grew up with these opportunities and never thought much about it. For me, that is the way my life tracked. But, nobody told me being a working mother would be so hard emotionally, mentally and physically.

I have never considered myself a feminist before I watched the Oscars. 

Feminism, to me, is associated with a generation before me. 

It is as comfortable an identifying word as calling myself a suffragette. But, today we see our politicians attempt to define rape and question birth control. I’m starting to realize that I am a feminist. Very much so.

Women’s reproductive rights can’t be given and then taken away in the same generation. Or, can they? Women have worked too hard to get to this point in time to let that happen. Yet, I see the headlines discussing these issues and I feel dismissive. These politicians must be in the minority, right? Maybe it’s me who is not taking these issues seriously enough. Ladies, we didn’t have these rights in the not so distant past.

Just as there is a generation of women who have fought for women’s rights, there was a generation who fought against it. And here we are, their collective descendants with our respective differing views playing again in the same sandbox.

What has changed? 

Our generation has not studied the hard won fight to fully understand the women’s movement is a living, breathing, everyday challenge that cannot be taken lightly.

Feminism needs a new brand for this new generation to define, relate to and support. 

Just like domestic violence didn’t have the language used to describe it in the ‘70’s, we need new language to get behind. I don’t know what the name of it might be, but I do believe most women just want what is fair. 

"Fairminism" might be a good start.

Today’s perceived norms of working moms still include working hard without the pay, title, respect and management support. It is a struggle in this economy.

Yet, I consider myself lucky. My mom didn’t have the same earning opportunities and the freedoms that come with it. I knew growing up that I wanted to have an established career before marriage. And I wanted to buy a house before kids.

At the Oscars, “the main misogynistic awfulness was centered on the workplace,” writes Amy Davidson of The New Yorker.

Sexism and decent pay in my early career were clear and obvious challenges. Misogyny is real and it just takes one small weakness for predators to pounce.

Having a dual income household that affords both parents to do the job they love and make a livable wage seems to be the golden ticket. That’s the foundation of the American dream, isn’t it? Work hard, get paid, buy a house, have a family, be happy. Right?

How much do we rationalize our "glass half-full" feeling that women have come so far and go on accepting our current struggles before we speak up? 

I’ve heard the question, where have today’s feminists gone? Well, they’ve been busy trying to balance these hard earned rights and live up to their career potential. But, without the support of an infrastructure – including management support, fair pay and affordable childcare – we are faced with a difficult journey.

The women leaders of our society are busy. Very busy. Women today are advocating for not only women’s rights, but human rights. Not only here in the US, but around the world. 

Feminism is far from dead. Now, women activists are called humanitarians.

Our generation is enjoying the fruits of our mothers’ and grandmothers’ labors and spreading the word, lobbying and advocating for women everywhere.

There is a glaring light shining on the world stage illuminating the suffering of women and girls who are struggling to be treated with dignity, to gain access to healthcare, get an education, and thrive under the protection of basic human rights.

So, thank you, Seth MacFarlane, for sounding the alarm. But, more thanks to the women who are talking back. Writers like Lindy West and Amy Davidson are waking up a legion of feminists who didn't realize their voices have been sorely missing. 

And, finally, to Gloria Steinem, I owe you a huge apology and debt of gratitude. I thought, naively, that you had already passed into the pages of the history books. Yet, here you are today, at 78, still talking about equal pay.

I wish I had been listening to the conversation earlier. 


March 8th is International Women's Day.

Sources:

The New Yorker

Google

Jezebel

PBS

Twitter hashtags:
#internationalwomensday
#womensday
#womenswishes
#changetheconversation